How to Become the Most Interesting Person In Any Room
By Jarrod Thalheimer
Everyone notices them. Effortlessly, they draw eyes and attention as they move about a room. Small talk seems easy as they captivate whomever they meet. Never stressed, never looking out of place, and somehow confident beyond belief. How? What is the secret of the consistently captivating? And why can’t you do the same? Hint: It’s not really that hard. In fact, it could very easily be you. You just need to learn some of the seven secrets they already know.
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#1: BE INTERESTEDOne way to become more interesting is to first become interested… in everything: people, places, jobs, careers, hobbies, and more. Stop rolling your eyes and closing your ears just because something you hear momentarily appears dull. Don’t give up. Ask questions, seek details, probe for more information. Find the nugget you can shine into something that sparkles, and you’ll be amazed how interesting even the most boring conversation can become. “So, you’re an accountant? Ever see anything weird on someone’s balance sheet? How about crazy clients? Any bizarre deductions? Can you explain how bad guys go about laundering money?” The point is to dig into the genuine experiences of other people, which in turn grow your own. Every good story you hear becomes a future tale for you to tell again, an ever-growing garden you get to harvest forever.#2: GO YOUR OWN WAYMost people follow the crowd. Head down, lockstep in thought, speech, and action. Obviously, basic, nonthreatening behavior is generally easier to practice but leaves most of us bored as you-know-what. Stop being safe. Walk your own path. Form your own opinions and then look for opportunities to share them. Think the moon landing was faked? Talk about it. Add in a smile, plus a willingness for good-natured debate, and you will instantly find yourself in the middle of a fascinating conversation. Sure, some folks will think you’re crazy, but so what? Maybe you’re serious, maybe not. The point is to set yourself apart from the crowd and have fun.Plus, you might actually find some unique truth along the way, whatever it may be.#3: SHINE A LIGHT… ON OTHER PEOPLETruly interesting people never hog the spotlight—–they share it at every opportunity. Narcissists are the ones who are boring, as they drone on and on about themselves. They think talking about how great they are or hyping their accomplishments somehow make them interesting. It doesn’t—it turns people off. Someone who is genuinely interesting can’t wait to include others. “Hey, remember that great story you told me the other day? You must share it with everyone. It’s hilarious!” Swinging the spotlight on others encourages participation, and more participation creates a better experience for you and everyone else too.#4: PRIORITIZE “YES” OVER “NO”These two tiny words are both insanely powerful. One can stop anything dead in its tracks while the other is responsible for launching a million adventures. “No” has its place and is important to use from time to time, but when it comes to being interesting, “yes” is the word you need to move forward. “Do you want to help me move on Saturday?” Of course, you want to say no, but the interesting person knows potential excitement is knocking. Maybe all you do is help a friend move. That’s fine. Or maybe you meet someone incredible. That’s great! Maybe you drop a piano on your foot. Ouch! No matter what, you have opened yourself up to “something” vs. “nothing,” which is where “no” usually leaves folks. Choose wisely. Say “yes” more often.#5: EMBRACE YOUR STORYLearn to love your personal story. So many people fear they aren’t good enough… that they don’t have a fancy degree or the right job. Or that they somehow haven’t earned the right to be interesting. Nonsense. Never apologize for who you are, where you come from, or what you have accomplished in life. Without a doubt, there is absolutely no one in the world like you. You are one of a kind, unique in every way, and the sooner you start embracing that reality, the faster you will begin to unlock the parts of you that are interesting for yourself and others. At no time in the entire history of the world has a person exactly like you ever existed. Get to know that person and start sharing them with others.#6: KNOW NO FEAREmbarrassment. Failure. Shame. So many of our fears stem from our desire to avoid these three core risks. Toss them aside. Do not ever be afraid to fail, to make mistakes, or to look foolish. The willingness to put yourself in “harm’s way”—that is, to risk embarrassment, failure, or shame—is what leads to being interesting. Dance when you can’t, sing when you shouldn’t, and be willing to fall flat on your face. Everyone one of those things will make you a better, more interesting person.Anything worthwhile takes time and effort, both of which mean mistakes will absolutely be made. Good! Make them and own them. They are trophies of effort. Besides, stories of your failures are great stories to share. Get to work collecting them.#7: OPEN YOUR EYES Life is the best adventure. Open your eyes and pay attention as you go through it. How many people, when asked what they did on the weekend, respond bluntly with “nothing.” What a waste! Paying attention during something as mundane as a trip to the grocery store, pumping gas, or buying a burrito will provide a dozen experiences you can enjoy and share with others. Your everyday habits contain all manner of mysteries to explore, but only for those willing to look. Remember Carl and Ellie from “Up”? Adventure is everywhere!
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