The Forgotten Art of Dating

By Carmelia Ray

Oh, the art of dating; it’s become a lost art for many. As a matchmaker who’s witnessed the dating landscape for three decades, I’m not surprised that many old-school courting rituals and dating etiquette are forgotten. I believe the upcoming Alpha and Gen Z dating population will need the most support, as TikTokers and countless social media “love gurus” define dating. One can get easily confused with the mixed messages and dating advice thrown at them from their smartphones.In a world where we are so connected yet so disconnected, dating has become something of a game—one that is often overwhelming, confusing, and full of frustration. If you’re single, ready to mingle, and unsure where to start, grab your favorite cup of tea or coffee, and let’s sip on some sound advice.DATING TIPS FOR GENERATION Z Be present when you’re on a date. One of the biggest complaints people have about dating is that their date was distracted. Number one, you must put away your phone and give your date your undivided attention. Be an active listener and ask follow-up questions to showcase interest.DATING TIPS FOR THE BUSY ENTREPRENEURIf you’re a single entrepreneur, you’re purposedriven, passionate, and often preoccupied. You’ve got a business to run! How can you possibly make time for dating while meeting deadlines? In addition, your standards are higher than your favorite heels, so you may need to reevaluate what realistic dating goals are. I asked one of my single colleagues to share her biggest struggles with dating men and what she felt was “lost” in the art of dating.“When it comes to the lost art of dating where money is concerned, I’ve experienced “cheap men.” These men ask you out, don’t pay, or don’t even offer to pay. They claim to be providers, yet they complain about having to play that role and never carrying cash with them. Conversely, some men try to control you with money and believe their high status and net worth entitles them to treat you with less respect.”~ Shamina Taylor - Wealth Expert and Money ManifestorI’ve had to coach hundreds, if not thousands, of clients on what should be discussed before accepting a date or planning one. The topic of “Who pays on a first date?” is constantly debated. The rule of thumb is the person who asks the other person out on the date should pay and have a budget for the date. A common mistake both men and women make is they try to impress with material things or showcase a version of themselves they believe their love interest will fall for. You should date within your means and attract someone based on accurately representing your lifestyle and personality.DATING TIPS FOR THE BUSY SINGLE PARENTMake time for dating and—yes, put it on your schedule. Plan and commit to dates just like you would your kid’s soccer practice, ballet, doctors, birthday parties, and play dates. Making time for dating shows you’re serious about finding love and respecting your date’s time. Show up on time with a positive mindset and be grateful for each opportunity you share with someone who could become your potential life partner.“I am a deeply spiritual person who loves contribution, service, and impact to others. I’m a super-powerful empath who is deeply in tune with how others feel. I’m looking for a life partner who wants to manifest a high-quality life experience full of joy and unconditional love.”~ Susan Hobson - CEO/Founder of Elite High Performance Inc.DATING TIPS FOR NEWLY SINGLE OR DIVORCED SINGLES Before you start considering dating, it’s essential to get clear on what you truly need in a partner for longterm happiness. Avoid short-term fun or temporary relationships to cure loneliness. Focus on compatible values and goals. What are your deal-breakers? When you know what you need, you’ll invest in relationships with people who meet your criteria.“I decided to do dating in the 305 with EpicTalks. Many of these amazing, beautiful humans I meet at my events are successful entrepreneurs. They’re surprisingly single, and so am I. I hear the complaints and what’s happening in the dating world. I want to bring some clarity on what singles need right now.”~ Melitsa Waage – CEO @EpicTalksMiami and Mindset MentorI flew to Miami to be part of an Epic Talks dating panel in a room of about 100 single entrepreneurs. Everyone I had the opportunity to speak with seemed perplexed about proper dating etiquette and the “rules for dating” in 2022. The dating scene has become so complicated in our fast-paced world, but what has remained consistent and clear over the years is you must openly communicate your needs, wants, and desires without fear of judgment or rejection. What seems to have been forgotten in the art of dating is the sense of personal pride, self-worth, the importance of patience, and perseverance.Dating can be daunting, especially if you haven’t done it in a while. By following these tips, you can ease into the dating world and increase your chances of finding love. Go forth and date with confidence, my friend!

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