Self-Love: More Than Just a Buzzword
By Paula Lalanne
"Self-love"—we hear it everywhere. It’s splashed across social media, whispered in guided meditations, and tied to rituals like journaling, bubble baths, and skincare routines. But here’s the thing: just saying the word doesn’t mean we’re actually living it. In fact, I believe that truly loving ourselves—deeply, unconditionally—might be one of the hardest things we ever do.
So, what does self-love really mean? And more importantly, how do we get there?
I believe it starts with worthiness. When we finally recognize that we are worthy of self-love—not just in theory, but in practice—something shifts. Because the truth is, if we don’t believe we are worthy, we won’t act accordingly. We won’t move our bodies in ways that feel good. We won’t nourish ourselves with foods that support our well-being. Think about how we care for the people we love most. We go out of our way to make them feel special, safe, and supported. But do we extend that same kindness to ourselves?
Here’s a radical thought: What if we stopped overanalyzing why we don’t feel worthy and simply decided that we are? What if we stopped searching for reasons to love ourselves and just took our self-worth as a given—like the fact that we breathe without questioning if we deserve oxygen? Sometimes, we make this concept elusive, overcomplicating something that should be as natural as existing. What if it was easier than we thought?
This realization hit me hard about a year ago. I had been going through the motions, talking about self-love while still battling old narratives in my mind. One day, after listening to a podcast, I caught the voice in my head—like a broken record, repeating the same script it had been playing since I was a child. I traced it back to when I was around seven years old, the age I started questioning things and didn’t like the answers.
I remember looking at my Barbie dolls, noticing that none of them had brown skin or dark hair like mine. In a split second, I came to a harsh conclusion: Blonde hair and blue eyes must be better. And if that’s better, then girls who look like that must be more worthy than me. That belief lodged itself in my mind, shaping the way I saw myself for years. And while life gave me experiences that should have disproved that idea, the journey to undoing it—like most journeys to self-love—was long and layered.
But here’s what I know now: self-love is the foundation of everything. It influences how we take care of our minds, bodies, and souls. For me, working out isn’t just about building a strong body—it’s about living in a body that is powerful, capable, and pain-free. And that’s what I want for you, too. Your body’s beauty is already there. It was never meant to look like anyone else’s. It was meant to be yours—unique, gifted with its own strengths, worthy of being celebrated exactly as it is.
Self-love means ending the comparison game. It means refusing to let negative thoughts dictate how you see and treat yourself. It means choosing foods that nourish you, not punish you. It means moving your body in ways that challenge and excite you. It means embracing the changes that come from effort, discipline, and care. And most importantly, it means appreciating all the incredible things your body allows you to do, not just how it looks.
And here’s the key: it is the love we have for ourselves that fuels the motivation to take action. In fact, research shows that people who practice self-compassion are more likely to stick to exercise routines and make healthier choices—because they approach their bodies with care rather than criticism. Self-love isn’t just about acceptance—it’s about honoring what is ours and committing to becoming the best version of ourselves
As the Dalai Lama wisely said, ‘With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.’ And I’d argue that starts with building a better world within yourself—one where you treat yourself with the same love, patience, and belief that you give to others."
