The Travel Test: Can Your Relationship Survive?
By Jarrod Thalheimer
What if there was a test to find out whether your relationship has what it takes? Would you take it? It would be kind of silly not to, especially if doing so could save you a ton of future pain. Thankfully, just such a test exists and it’s available to every couple, anywhere in the world—take a short trip together! Travel, as it happens, is a microcosm of life. The stresses endured, situations faced, and responses offered provide a near-perfect laboratory to provoke and observe the absolute best and worst in a person. Still not sure? Have a look at these examples and tell me I’m wrong.
The Endless Day
What happens when all normal distractions are erased? No job to rush off to, no appointments to keep, no dinners to make. Just raw, unscheduled, available time. How do they react? Do they rush to fill the void with activity, or do they flop onto a couch and binge watch movies? Regular life offers a ton of ways to hide such behaviors, but a weekend away allows insight into what someone might be like if they ever lost their job, or had their day-to-day life interrupted in any significant way. Watching how someone handles “free time” lets you know if they really are someone you can face an uncertain future with…or not.
The Screw-up
Early dating is a masterclass in manufactured perfection. Men and women spend lots of time making sure any time out together is flawless in execution—right down to laying out fancy underwear “just in case.” Travel, however, is a wild card. Screw-ups always happen—and usually at the worst possible moment. The rental car runs out of gas, the airline loses your luggage, the navigation takes you the wrong way. Trips away are ripe for mess-ups, which is the best time to look for clues. How do they handle problems? Do they freak out? Are they calm and collected? Make your mental notes. You’ll be glad you did.
The Crappy Hotel Room
Early daters work hard to hide personal craziness from those they are attracted to…and no wonder. Who uses first dates to casually explain why they can’t sleep without wool socks stuffed full of foot cream or admits an obsession with the grout in bathroom tile being clean enough to eat off? No one, because we would think they are weird, which is exactly the kind of intel someone weighing the long-term potential of a relationship needs. Say hello to the crappy hotel room. Finding oneself stuck in a room with all manner of faulty imperfection will encourage even the most deeply hidden truths to pop above the surface. From insect fears, odd sleep tics, bizarre bathroom needs, OCD packing rituals, and more, all time spent in a lessthan-perfect accommodations reveals volumes about the people attempting to endure it. Pay attention.
The Chaos of Confusion
It’s rare to get lost in your everyday life. Most of us keep to established paths and places, meaning we almost always know where we are. But on vacation? The chance for a navigational misstep is infinitely higher—and that’s a very good thing. Getting lost reveals much about how someone handles sudden uncertainty and how effectively they cope with fear and confusion. This offers a direct insight into how someone might confront the many difficult (and unplanned) situations bound to crop up further down the road. Do they calmly backtrack to what they know, asking for help, or do they just start to twitch and cry uncontrollably? Whatever they do, you have been warned. Act accordingly.
The Sudden Illness
Absolutely nothing reveals more about someone than how they handle getting sick. The random nature of travel almost guarantees an illness of some kind, especially when you factor in exotic foods, lots of strangers, and passage through germ factories like airports, taxis, and tourist traps. On a trip there is nowhere to hide. That means you get a front-row seat to the most honest version of the person you’re dating… ever. Do they act like a wounded animal that only wants to be left alone, or do they become a whining, cloying baby who demands someone wait on them hand and foot? Being sick reveals all, which means you will learn very quickly how much you truly enjoy being with them.
Thanks, travel!
