“Embracing the Present” Dr. Shefali’s Mantra for a Fulfilling Life

By Alexandra Anastasio

Only a few months into the New Year, and Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a world-renowned clinical psychologist, New York Times best-selling author, and international speaker, is continuing her mission as an outspoken advocate for parenting and relationships.

She recently released her fifth book, “The Parenting Map,” a philosophy she is not only well versed in, but one she is fiercely passionate about sharing with other parents.

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While her previous books on the subject are more conceptual, this one lays out a “how-to” of conscious parenting, giving parents a step-by-step strategy and map to follow so that they have concrete guidance and direction during times of inevitable confusion and stress.

“I believe this book will help millions of parents achieve their most cherished goal, which is to have a deep connection with their children,” explains Dr. Shefali.

Challenging the traditional parenting pattern stems from Dr. Shefali’s work as a psychologist as well as being a parent herself. It is here she developed the philosophy of conscious parenting.

“I began to implement it into my own parenting and witnessed its power to shift my dynamic with my child instantly.”

Along with her teachings on the subject, Dr. Shefali is a staunch advocate for the importance of finding an internal connection within us, something she says isessential for leading a fulfilling and meaningful life. Without it, we will always feel restless and disconnected regardless of the external things we try to fill our liveswith, she explains.

Fascinated by Dr. Shefali’s teachings and her approach to conscious parenting, we sat down with her for an in-depth conversation to learn more about her work, her personal experiences, the challenges she faces, and the ways in which she is working to make a difference within the parenting space.

You are one of the most respected names in the parenting space. What led you down this path?

As a psychologist, I worked with innumerable adults in therapy and began to see how our early foundational years have such a vast and lasting impact on our entirelives. This led me to have a profound interest in the field of early childhood and parenting. Once I became a mother myself, this passion grew to the point of writing books about the topic. All of this purpose grew from my own awareness of the crucial importance of these early years and how, if we are not conscious, we can limit our children’s capacity to be their best selves.

My books were provocative to parents at first as they challenged the traditional parenting paradigm and were ignored. It was only when Oprah picked up my work and recognized their value that my message of conscious parenting began to spread.

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Website: DoctorShefali.comSocial Media: DoctorShefali

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At BELLA, we spotlight the ideal that Life Is BEAUTIFUL!

History - Making Moments of 2022: Defining our times through Arts + Culture

It may be hard to believe, but 2023 is right around the corner. For many people, the idea of a new year brings hope of new beginnings, and for others, it’s not without a touch of nostalgia. As we look back, we cannot help but think of the events that have defined this past year. With any historymaking event, not only is there the written account for historical purposes, but there are visuals to help remind us of the emotional connection.

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We live in a society and culture shaped by art, which is one of the single best preservers of history. Images tell a story and raise the question of how we understand ourselves and one another. It allows us to conserve what fact-based records cannot, and how we felt to exist in a particular place and time. In some way, shape, or form, we have all been transformed by art.This year is no exception. From moments that will ultimately alter the trajectory of life moving forward, to those that touched us on a lighter, yet still emotional level, we rounded up some of the most notable of 2022 that have had a huge impact on our culture and society. The lasting images from these historical events will live on as a great history teacher for generations to come.

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LIVE YOUR MOST BELLA LIFE!

BELLA Magazine is a national subscription- and newsstand-based lifestyle publication offering a curated guide to fashion, beauty, health, philanthropy, arts and culture, cuisine, celebrities, and entertainment.

At BELLA, we spotlight the ideal that Life Is BEAUTIFUL!

Franco Lacosta: The Most Enchanting Human on Earth

“WE NEED MORE FRANCO, ICON FRANCO LACOSTA, FRANCO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER, FRANCO NEEDS HIS OWN SPINOFF, FRANCO IS A BALL OF ELECTRICITY, FRANCO IS THE REAL STAR...”

From Twitter fans to the creators of “The Bachelor” franchise, Franco Lacosta’s fan base perfectly encompasses just how incredible the charming visionary, photographer, stylist, curator, creative director, producer, and artist really is.The power of manifestation is a magnetic force. I have been following Franco’s journey for years, always hoping to learn from such an iconic, incredible being. When the universe brought us together, I welcomed the sign with open arms, and did exactly what I once longed to do... learn. I sat down with Franco at one of his favorite lunchtime spots, The French Bistro, LouLou’s, in New York City, where he also resides. Although Franco was born in New York, the artist was raised in Puerto Rico, in the southern part of the island between the beach and the mountains. Surrounded by such beauty in his hometown, Franco discovered a love for nature, the Amazon, and protecting the planet. He considers himself a huge agent of change and feels a big responsibility for changing the landscape vibrationally in which we live, how we live, and how we treat others.The man of many talents started working at the young and inspired age of 7. That’s when Franco began taking photos of people, which he did not do for money, but simply because he loved how it made him and others feel. A year later, his mother’s friend recognized his love for makeup and beauty. The young, ambitious boy we now know as the iconic Franco Lacosta became a beauty consultant at the early age of 8. Franco views these experiences as his first jobs, because it taught him how to connect with people, to style, and how to heal the—and to use fashion, makeup, and photography as his medium to empower them.“There was only one of me,” Franco explains about being the “eccentric and creative” kid in town. He was ambitious to learn. He was told his whole life that he had to narrow down his focus, but Franco believes that being multifaceted is so much more powerful. Indeed, it was young Franco’s hunger for knowledge that led way to him become multifaceted as an adult. Franco believes that being multifaceted and challenging our talent in a dynamic manner is a huge asset in today’s world. Humbly, he’s had a wealth of experiences in design, photography, and directing, all the way to becoming a relationship expert. This has all become part of Franco’s metaverse.The level of success Franco achieved is all due to his never-ending passion and imagination. The trajectory of his career was unconventional, but he knew he would always be someone of importance. To the successful Renaissance man, “importance” is not defined by financial status, but by the way you make your mark on the world, Franco explains. We could all take a lesson on living with purpose, from the enchanting Franco Lacosta.

How did your childhood inform the way you pursued your dreams later in life?

I loved books, art, dance, and music. I spent a lot of time with the elderly because they have so many stories to tell, thanks to the storytelling in all these genres and the rich history of my ancestors in Latin American and Puerto Rican culture. There’s also the heritage, the adornment and femininity of women, and the uber confidence of the Latin man... just the passion for color and life.I was very inventive, to the point where people would call me a master storyteller. They would say, “Where did you go this weekend?” and I would say, “I went to Paris, I took a canoe... and there were sharks, but they didn’t touch me. And I rowed all the way to Île Saint-Louis... and traveled the city.”My imagination was wide open, and my mother fed me more by getting me subscriptions to National Geographic, Cosmopolitan, and Vogue. These publications shaped my thinking and expanded my universe. National Geographic was my cultural experience—the visual narrative and stories gave me a sense of the world at large... cultures, their people, their food, their spiritual practices. I loved Cosmopolitan because I discovered the supermodel, I learned about women’s orgasms, it gave me a way to connect deeper to the female. Maybe that was making me more gay [laughs]! Vogue gave me the ultimate gift—it was the pinnacle of fashion, beauty, and lifestyle. I learned about teamwork and understood the editorial work. It is about hair, makeup, model, location. I had a crush on Paulina Porizkova, Linda Evangelista, and Cindy Crawford. Their covers changed my life. I wanted to mimic those photos. I learned to create the perfect picture, ideas, composition, space, lighting, facial structure, movement... “How to Make a Star 101!”My grandfather knew I was highly creative. He gave me my first camera when I was 7 years old, and I was always taking photos. I was doing everyone’s makeup... my sister, cousins, everyone. I loved having the power to make women feel beautiful. That was my motivation for everything moving forward. Although I couldn’t afford makeup at a young age, I would find ways to create it myself. I would squeeze mango and rub it on my face for glowing skin and mix Vaseline with Kool Aid to make lipstick and blush. I think I invented the lip plumper—I would mix jalapeño pepper with Vaseline to make bigger lips. I would put Coca-Cola in my hair to spike it up and use powder from butterfly wings to create a shimmery eye shadow. I put butterfly dust on everybody, I just wanted to turn everyone into a supermodel.What was your journey in becoming a television icon?I had a strategy. Discovering your gift, honing in on your talents, and learning the foundation. I wanted to learn everything, so when people asked, I was able to offer myself.I got my first reality show on the Style Network. It was a competition to style Rachel Hunter for a red-carpet award ceremony. Ironically, it was something I had been doing my entire life. It proved further that I was able to help people discover their brand. Soon after, I went to a party where a director of NBC saw me engaging with a few women. He came up to me and asked what I do, and immediately asked me if I wanted my own beauty segment where I could transform women into anything I wanted. It allowed me to become the producer of my own segments, which was such a gift. I became co-founder of Q Model Management. I learned to develop talent. I created many stars. My talent discovery became the faces of L’Oréal, Gucci, and Valentino. It led to career opportunities that allowed me to dive into my network of designers, brands, stylists, jewelers, locations, and hairdressers. Because of my network, I was providing all the clothing for the segments, from Christian Dior to Jean Paul Gaultier, to Naeem Khan. People trusted that my vision would be on brand.Shortly after, I got a phone call. It was someone from Model Latina. Model Latina was really a cross between “America’s Next Top Model” and “Apprentice.” I met with Maria Perez Brown who ended up becoming my mentor. She hired me as the judge and creative director of that show. She led me to maneuver my way into many different roles, becoming a true magician at each one. Maria allowed me to create a look for the show that not only proved my commitment and efficiency but became a catalyst for my career.Following that, I got a call from “America’s Next Top Model.” I was expanding my portfolio. At this point, I could do it all. They needed a refresh, so I came in as a photographer and creative director. I did that for a few years, and then “The Bachelor” called.

You started off as a photographer in “The Bachelor” franchise, which made way for so many roles in the show. How was your experience in becoming such a huge part of this ABC family?“The Bachelor” called at the perfect time. They loved my creative energy and my execution skills. I’m very honored people want to see more of me in the franchise [laughs]. This international phenomenon has a really great team, and they trust me to help bring beauty and entertainment to the show. I really loved it and took on the challenge. Most of the time I was behind the scenes, but then the producers wanted me on screen. I was nervous, but it opened up a whole new world for me. I was lucky to be on camera. From that point on I was really Franco Lacosta—the Renaissance man. When I come up with an idea, they would go, “Yes, yes, yes.” Frankly, I’ve been very spoiled, they “yes” me to death! I am so humbled and blessed to say I’ve been able to do everything I’ve wanted to do. And the best is still to come.Can you expand on who influenced your career path?I’m a product of powerful collectives. Oprah Winfrey taught me the power of my brand and how to protect my integrity. Starting with Gianfranco Ferré who gave me my first design opportunity in Milan, which led to him making me his brand ambassador. He said my sense of color was “orgasmic.” Ives Saint Laurent found me very exotic. He opened my world to understated elegance and tailoring. While I chose to study art history, design, and photography at Pratt Institute in New York City, I was also working in guest services at the Paramount Hotel for Ian Schrager. With him I learned the art of architecture; the importance of space and aesthetics, including lighting and furniture design; and the value of hospitality experiences.Another great figure was Antonio Lopez, who I believe paved the way for me. He was the best fashion illustrator of all time. He created the supermodel. He gave life to these designs. Everyone I met in Europe told me I reminded them of Antonio, including Saint Laurent and Karl Lagerfeld, who loved Antonio and his work.I became an accidental model thanks to French photographer, Bettina Rheims. Her photos of me landed in Italian Vogue and all over Europe. That led me to work with Ellen von Unwerth. She photographed me for Italian Vogue with Carla Bruni, Monica Bellucci, and Laetitia Casta. During my days in London, I met Isabella Blow, who had a huge impact on my work and my life. She discovered Alexander McQueen. She was a genius; she loved my visions.I’m always attracting the eccentric and big thinkers. Michelle Collins is one of these people. She is the president and CEO of A Non-Agency. As we collaborate, I learn not only about innovation and technology, but I have been able to use my curatorial skills and talent radar. The moment I met her we connected, and I wanted to become an asset to her because I believe in her vision.I’ve been blessed to learn from the best people. It gave me so much confidence...that’s actually the first time I’ve ever admitted that. I understood that it is all about your team. I placed myself in situations in which I was needed and couldn’t be replaced. I knew my value and what I brought to my relationships, partnerships, and collaborations. You know who you can and can’t work with. A friend of mine always says, “If I can’t go on vacation with you, I can’t work with you.”

How is your relationship with your daughter, and how does she react to having such an influential father figure in so many different lights?It’s funny sometimes. At her graduation, people were coming up to her, “I didn’t know that was your dad!” She laughs. I think it’s cool for her to see me being myself so that she can follow in the same direction. I definitely have a fan in her.When she was born, I took a back seat to my career in order to give her the right energy and attention. Carmen is 15 now, and she is a rebel...such a bad-ass. At 15, they don’t really want to hang out with their parents anymore, but she’s amazing. I want her to have experiences; being 15 in New York can become redundant. I want her to travel the world and have a broader sense of culture. I like to take her on incredible adventures to Costa Rica, Barcelona, or even Mexico, where she can connect with nature, whether that be zip-lining or horseback riding. She’s very into writing, she has a great personal style, and she loves design and the theatre. She’s very kind and has a generous heart. I tell her she can be anything she wants to be, and to dream big.Kindness seems to be your mantra. How do you use your incredible passion and energy to help those around you?By being a disrupter, a true influencer. If I don’t disrupt, how does change occur? When does change occur? When are new voices heard? There’s always a way—I’m always reaching someone. There’s always a way to elevate. Whether it’s me taking a portrait of someone or curating a space, my goal is for everyone to always feel their most beautiful and for the space I create to be of the highest frequency, which is a reflection of me. I get messages about people having bad days, or wanting to hurt themselves, who then say that they saw me, and I brought back a certain energy to their lives. They ask me if I have time to talk, and I’m like, “Absolutely I do, let’s talk!”I’m so grateful that I’m able to change someone’s perspective... to be able to make someone feel seen, heard, and cared for is the ultimate power.When you aren’t working as a multifaceted man of many talents, how do you spend your free time?Honestly, I don’t get a ton of free time between my philanthropic work for Coalition for the Homeless, being a parent, and my television work. But, when I do, I paint, write, and draw. I’m currently working on two new design projects, a textile and a home collection. I’m also writing two books and developing new content for television. I love to go to museums and travel as much as I can... and eat like a pig [laughs].What would 7-year-old Franco who just got his first camera say looking at himself now?Oh wow, he would say, “I can’t wait for what’s next!” And I would tell him now to keep going. To think bigger and see yourself winning an Oscar, an Emmy—everything. I’ve done it, but I’m not done yet. There’s still so much more to do.You mentioned you love to paint. I once did a painting meditation where we recognized colors as feelings. What color would you use to describe your feelings about working with BELLA on this project?Well, I love color. White is a very powerful color; Yves Klein blue is also a powerful color. But something about pink comes to my mind. Pink is ever growing; it is growth forever. I use bright pink as an accent in all my work. It is my signature color. I limit myself when I speak about pink, it means something.Keeping the mind clean is so important to creative flow. How do you incorporate wellness into your life?I am healing energy. I do a lot of hot yoga and meditation so that I can replenish my energy. I eat as healthy as I can and seek to nourish my highest self with shamanic rituals and deep ritualistic practice. I light a lot of candles, burn incense, and am deeply connected to my ancestors. Being sacred is part of my path and is intricate in my purpose.What does “Life Is BELLA” mean to you?That’s my ethos. Life is BELLA. I see BELLA in everything. We need more BELLA in everyone’s life. It is inspiration, love, gratitude. Living with purpose is BELLA.