By Dr. Julie Davelman

With the increasing prevalence of social media in our lives, the word “influencer” has become a household term.

We think of these people as online personalities whose lives and likes we follow on social media. However, there are influencers in our lives that are much closer to home; more often than not, they are in our home. It is important to recognize that the small group of people you interact with frequently are your real influencers.

The people who form the immediate circle around you shape your understanding of norms. Let’s say that everyone in your immediate environment exercises regularly, has healthy eating habits, and generally cares about their physical health. It is more likely that you too will believe these things are important to prioritize and are the things everyone does.
On the other hand, if burgers, beers, and screen time are things your circle finds normal, but you keep trying to get to the gym, it might seem like you are acting strangely. So, when you find yourself struggling with implementing a habit you think would benefit you, take a good look around. Are the people in your circle doing it? If not, you may need to add some people who are.

Not only do the people around you influence what you think of as normal but also what you think of as possible. If you surround yourself with nay-sayers, then it is likely that any new undertaking will seem impossible. On the other hand, if your circle encourages those in it to always try harder and reach for more, you will also likely believe that anything is possible. This concept applies far beyond the specific things that someone in your circle has actually done. For instance, if you have an idea for a great book, it would be up to your circle to help you believe you are capable of writing it even if there are no published authors among your influencers.

As you reach beyond your comfort level, the other thing your influencers will provide is support. It is easy to say, “You can do it,” but it’s another to stand by your side and hold your hand as you take each step. The people you surround yourself with will, in part, determine whether you have the resources you need to climb over the stumbling blocks on the way to reaching your goals. It is especially at this stage that the difference between “influencers” in the virtual space and the real “influencers” in your world becomes apparent. Although social media influencers can normalize success and motivate you to reach for the stars, they are not going to be able to offer you much help on the journey. For that, you need the right people around you.

Although there is value in following the trends set by social media influencers, it is even more important to understand how the people in your world affect your choices, behaviors, and ambitions. It is also critical to remember that you have the power to make some changes in this critical circle. Once you know what you want, you can surround yourself with the people who will help you get there.